From: "Dan Kingsbury" <dkings@ix.netcom.com>
Subject: (fanfic) Bijo Hogosha Sailor Ursa Episode 5 (at last!)
Date: 26 Feb 1997 06:38:03 GMT

Sorry this took so long....

Bijo Hogosha Sailor Ursa Episode 5 
By Ursula Owen/ Sailor Ursa 
Masquerade! Spinning Sailors, Grinning Gits... 
 
        Sailor Ursa: Mardi Gras at last! My school is holding a Mardi  
Gras/Valentine's Day dance, and it's gonna be so cool! Everyone is  
coming, especially <sigh> Tasukechan! But when a mima shows up to 
crash the party, will the other Commandos and I be able to transform 
and save the student body- and Tasuke-chan's student body- before it's 
too late? Stay tuned- and I'll show you! 
 
********************************************************************** 
*                       SAILOR URSA OP SONG                          * 
*       (Sung to a lounge-lizard version of Moonlight Densetsu)      * 
*                                                                    * 
* Fighting evil by starlight                                         * 
* And winning love-           She will never doubletime you on sends * 
* but not quite               She's always there to be friends       * 
* Always starting             She's the one who doesn't use Depends, * 
* all the real fights,        She's the one named Sailor-            * 
* She is the one named        Sailor Phoenix! Sailor Draconis        * 
* Sailor Ursa!                Sailor Pegasus! Sailor Monocerotis     * 
*                             Always hanging by the skin of her teeth* 
* <groovin guitar solo>       She is the one named Sailor Ursa!      * 
* Although this series may be                                        * 
* Just another spoof          Fighting evil by starlight             * 
* The jokes aren't bad-       And winning love-                      * 
* They are the truth!         but not quite                          * 
*                             With her Sailor Commandos to help fight* 
* (cut to still of SU         She is the one named Sailor Ursa       * 
* tripping over her guardian  She's the one named Sailor Ursa        * 
* rabbit while others look    She is the one-                        * 
* on and sigh)                Sailor Ursa!                           * 
**********************************************************************

 
<cut to hall of Garfield- Urs and her pal Susie leaning against wall> 
 
        Susie: So- um- 
        Ursula: Howsit going? 
        Susie: Uh.. Okay, I guess. Is something wrong?  
        Ursula: What d'you mean? 
        Susie: Oh, nothing- it's just that you haven't exactly been  
speaking to me a lot lately.. 
        Ursula: Well- I've been busy. Advanced Placement is hell, and-  
there's just a lot of stuff going on. <undertone> Like you wouldn't  
believe.. 
        Susie: What? 
        Ursula: Nothing.. 
        Susie: I know that you've got different classes than I do and  
everything- and you're hanging out more with those two girls, you 
know, um- Jewel and Feather- 
        Ursula: Crystal and Heather- 
        Susie: Yeah- and I don't want to be a drag or anything, but- 
        Ursula: You're not being a drag, really- 
        Susie: But I can't help but feel like I deserve a little more of  
your time- I mean, we are friends, after all- or we were.. 
        Ursula: What do you mean? 
        Susie <grimly>: I mean- I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you  
now! 
        Ursula: WHAT?! 
        Susie <growling>: You are the pretty sailor-suited guardian,  
Sailor Ursa! How could you keep such a secret from me?! 
        Ursula: I- I didn't want you to get hurt! I was afraid that the  
Underground would come after you! 
        Susie <laughing evilly>: You were afraid that the Underground  
would get me?! I AM the Underground! 
        Ursula: WHAT?!?!?!?! <Urs cowers as Susie morphs into a 15-foot- 
tall mima with fangs, shoulder horns and obligatorily minimal 
clothing> 
        Susie: You fool! You never even suspected me! 
        Ursula: But- you were- my friend- 
        Susie: Hahahaha- Now I will conquer the world and- 
        Ursula: And what? 
        Susie: And- 
        Ursula: Well? 
        Susie: I don't know! I'll do something really fun! And you  
couldn't do anything to stop me- not you, or your stupid sailor 
friends! 
        Ursula: Oh yeah? STAR STAFF EXTR- <Susie begins to disintegrate>  
Wait a minute- I'm not transformed! What's going- 
        Susie: DO you really think I wouldn't know what to do when I  
conquered the world? Give an evil monarch a little more credit! 
        Ursula: Well, then- what's going on? 
        Susie: A dream, of course! Now come on, Urs- wake up. 
        Ursula <confused>: What? 
        Susie: Wake up, Urs- WAKE UP! 
        Ursula: I don't understand- <she runs, and comes face to face 
with Hiba Tasuke> Oh, Tasukechan! I was so scared- 
        Tasuke: There's nothing to be afraid of, Ursa-chan. <moves to  
embrace her, as his clothes begin to melt into a Underground outfit- 
Urs cringes> 
        Ursula: What?! 
        Tasuke: What are you afraid of? I would never hurt you- I'm here  
to help you. 
        Ursula: You- *you're* from the Underground?! 
        Tasuke: Of course! This is a silly little shoujo show, isn't it? 
        Ursula: Hey! 
        Tasuke: You had to find out sooner or later... 
        Ursula: What are you saying? 
        Tasuke: I'm going to take you back with me- out of this dream  
world of yours. 
        Ursula: No! You can't! 
        Tasuke: It's time to wake up, Ursa-chan. Wake up. 
        Ursula: Huh? <dream melts away; Urs sits up in bed, breathing  
hard> Oh, not again.. <Pushes hair back from eyes, glances at clock> 
Oh, shit! I'm late!!! <gets up, begins to get dressed> 
 
<scene change; Sailor Draconis and Sailor Ursa stand on a field 
covered with dead bodies> 
 
        SD: I'm so tired... <leans against a snag, breathing heavily;  
voiceover> I had fought for monthes now, alongside the other Sailor  
Commandos... But when the first of us fell, it all came crashing down.  
What good was this war? What good could 'good' do if it caused so much  
suffering? Then the next fell, and the next, and there was only Ursa 
and I left. The waves of enemies just kept coming. Then came the day- 
then came the moment, when I knew it was all over. <normal> 
        SU <despairing>: This is all so pointless! I would never have  
started this war if I had known how it would end! All my friends- all  
the Commandos- all gone! <pauses for a moment, then stumbles on, 
towards some unseen goal in the distance> 
        SD: I can't tell you anything helpful, I'm afraid- but we have 
to win... Otherwise, the Underground will rule the world- there will 
be no freedom anywhere. It's our duty, Ursa. 
        SU: Duty my Sailor ass! I just wanted a cute boyfriend and a  
sailor suit! I never signed up for this! 
        SD: No- but you have to do it anyway. You- we- are the only ones  
who can. <SU stumbles on, and SD collapses> I'm so tired... I can't- 
go- on... <voiceover> The next moment, she was gone. I was the only 
living thing left. <screams> Sailor Ursa! NO! <voiceover> It felt as 
if it was all some horrible dream, and all I wanted was to wake up- 
<Heather sits up in her bed, breathing heavily> 
        Heather: Shit- what do they mean? These dreams... 
 
<scene change; Crystal stands in the Fenix with Nyles> 
 
        Crystal: This is so cool- I can't believe that you would do this  
just for me. 
        Nyles: Well, I know the Fugies don't normally play clubs, but I  
pulled in a few favors- I had, you might say, a few tricks up my 
sleeve, a feather in my cap, a wind beneath my wi- 
        Crystal: Nyles... <the Fugies begin to play 'Killing Me Softly'> 
        Nyles: Yeah? 
        Crystal: Hush. <Nyles clams up as they listen to the music-  
Crystal leads him to dance> See- you can like music other than death  
metal. 
        Nyles <looking as if he's seen the light>: You're right... My 
life could change... <he slowly begins to grow taller, and his clothes 
fade away to reveal his Underground outfit>  
        Crystal: Wait a minute- who're you? Where's Nyles? 
        Nyles: I am Nyles. 
        Crystal: NO- No. This is a trick. You're from the Underground. I  
won't spare you. 
        Nyles: Crystal- it's me! 
        Crystal: You have to die, Underground scum. Unicorn Pure STRE- 
        Nyles: Crystal, what're you doing? Wake up- I'm Nyles! 
        Crystal: You're dead. 
        Nyles: Crystal, it's me! WAKE UP! <Crystal sits up in bed,  
breathing hard> 
        Crystal: I don't believe it... What does it mean? Not- not  
Nyles... 
 
        Announcer: Sailor Ursa will return after these commercially-
minded mini-skits! 
 
        Sailor Ursa: Hi! 'Sme again, Sailor Ursa! I'm here to tell you  
about the most amazing thing I've ever heard of- the PEEKER2000>TM<! 
The Peeker2000 is the latest in peeking technology, allowing you to 
look around corners, under curtains and over the shoulder of the kid 
sitting next to you in your AP Test! That's amazing! you say, but how 
much does it cost? Well, friends, for this short time only, the 
Peeker2000 will be available for only $5,000, which is much less than 
the average college loan! So call our toll-free number at 1-800-
CHEATER, and do it now! Because the Peeker2000 <TM> is only available 
for a limited time! 
 
        Announcer: We now return to Sailor Ursa- but then again, we 
never really left, did we? <chokes back tears> 
 
<scene change: Nylon standing in Underground throne room> 
 
        Queen Polyesterine: What's going on, Nylon? You have made no  
progress in your project, to gather energy and destroy the Sailor  
Blighte- Commandos, and my hair is getting limp! 
        Nylon <vacantly>: I'm sorry- is there some correlation between  
these two facts? 
        Queen Polyesterine: Yes! No energy, no hairdryer, no styling, no  
body, no vitality! Don't you care about my hair? 
        Nylon: Frankly, no. I've got- more attractive things on my mind. 
        Queen Polyesterine: You dare!? Cower, Nylon, I shall kill thee  
now! 
        Nylon: You just switched voices... 
        Queen Polyesterine: Oh, really? Oops... Hey, you can't distract 
me so easily!  
        Nylon: You sure? 
        Queen Polyesterine: Well, yes, reasonably- hey! Kneel before 
your queen! 
        Nylon: You're not my queen. 
        Queen Polyesterine: What?! How dare you?! <waves her hand>  
Spandex, third of my generals, come forth! <out of the shadows steps a  
man with bright blue hair and skintight clothing. He bows> 
        Spandex: How may I serve my queen? 
        Queen Polyesterine: Dispose of this infidel! 
        Spandex: Gladly, my queen. <steps forward, raising one hand 
which is ringed in blue flames> Prepare to die, Nylon. 
        Nylon: Wait- wait a minute! Pardon me, my queen- I have not been  
myself lately... <hee hee> But I can still succeed! Give me one last  
chance to complete my mission! I promise, I shall destroy the Sailor  
Fighters- <Super-D sailors appear and shout in unison, 'Sailor  
Commandos, Sanjou!'; larger Super-D Stella appears and sits on them> 
or die trying! 
        Queen Polyesterine: Very well, Nylon- but fail me, and your fate  
shall be much worse than death. <as Nylon turns to go> Can you say 
'Must See TV'? <Spandex gasps in horror as Nylon blanches.> 
        Nylon: I shall not fail you, my queen. <leaves> 
        Spandex <muttered>: Even if you succeed, Nylon, I shall assure  
that you die trying... Neither you nor anyone else shall stop my  
ascension to power... 
 
<scene change; Ursula walking through Garfield Hall> 
 
        Ursula: What a trip... <drifts down hall, barely awake. Bumps 
into Susie> Ah! Don't hurt me! 
        Susie: Ursula! You- what? 
        Ursula: I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you lately, Suzichan! 
Please don't kill me over it! I don't care if you're from the 
underground- we can still be friends, can't we? 
        Susie: What're you babbling about? 
        Ursula: I- uh- <sweatdrop> Never mind... 
        Susie: So- how are you doing? 
        Ursula: I- uh- well- there's um- Okay, I guess.. 
        Susie: That's good... How's AP? 
        Ursula: It's okay... 
        Susie: Good... <long awkward silence; Susie coughs, stretches.> 
        Ursula: Look, I have to get to class. 
        Susie: Me too- I'll see you later, okay? 
        Ursula: Yeah- at the soiree, ne? 
        Susie: Ee, soo ne. <N for 'Yeah...'; Susie walks off, as does 
Urs. While Urs walks down the hall she runs into Heather> 
        Heather: Oh, hi-  
        Ursula: Hi, Dragonbreath! 
        Heather: Don't call me that! It's too obvious! 
        Ursula: Oh, come on! Who's gonna get it anyway? There aren't any  
Underground people here! <of course, Nyles just *happens* to drift 
past at this moment> 
        Nyles <undertone>: What did she say? 
        Heather: You can't know that! 
        Ursula: Oh, come on, Heather- are you afraid that someone'll 
find out that *we're* the *Sailor* *Commandos*? 
        Heather: Ursula, you baka! 
        Ursula: Baka ja nai wa yo! Hesaachan wa baka! <Crystal appears  
behind the two, looking like hell> 
        Crystal: Break it up... 
        Ursula: I'll break something, but it won't be up! 
        Heather: You wish! Yeah, like your black belt in anime is gonna  
hurt me! *I* have a black belt in *aikido*. 
        Ursula: I bet you don't even know what that means! <Crystal gets  
steamed> 
        Crystal: WILL YOU TWO BREAK IT UP!?!?!? <Heather and Urs cringe> 
        Ursula: Yes'm, yes'm! 
        Crystal: I can't believe that you guys are being so immature! 
It's no wonder that no one invited *you* to the dance! 
        Ursula: Hey- I'm sure Tasukechan is going to invite me any 
moment, he just- hasn't worked up the nerve yet! You know these anime 
guys- 
        Heather: He's not an anime guy! 
        Ursula: He's Japanese- close enough! 
        Heather: You are *such* a baka- <class bell rings. Ursula bops  
Heather on the head and jets for Latin> Oh, you geek! Get back here! 
        Ursula: I'm going to ask Tasukechan to go- maybe that'll get rid  
of his shyness. Ja ne! 
        Nyles: So- there will be a dance. Perhaps a- friend and I shall  
attend... 
 
<scene change; The apartment of Hiba Tasuke; he sits in a chair facing  
out a window towards the Puget Sound, brooding> 
 
        Tasuke: Nothing makes any sense any more... <flashback; Tasuke  
standing in an airport> I knew that there was something important 
here- after Aimaiko di- disappeared, I felt a strong force pulling me. 
There was no point to remaining in Japan, so I came. I enrolled in the 
local high school... <flash of Tasuke's first day> I didn't fit in, 
but then, I never fit in. I knew that I was supposed to be here- and I 
was right. <flash of SU's first battle> Sailor Ursa- who is she? 
What's she looking for? Maybe- maybe she's connected to Aimaiko... 
<flash of a young woman in a Japanese school uniform with long black 
hair; her face is obscured by shadows> Aimaiko- can you forgive me? I 
think- I think I can find a way to help you. <sighs; back to present> 
I wish things were a bit easier. <phone rings> I suppose I should pick 
that up... <phone continues to ring- answering machine picks up> 
        AM: Hello, this is Tasuke Hiba. I'm not available right now, but  
I'll be back soon. Please leave a message after the beep. Thank you.  
<beeep; Urs's voice in Japanese> Um, hi, Tasukechan? This is, um, 
Ursula Owen, and I was wondering if- you know, there's this dance 
tonight, and I was wondering if you were going to go, and if you were, 
I thought maybe we could go together or- something... So, um, my 
number is 725-4175- call me- or don't, if you don't want to, I mean- 
whatever you want... ja, mata ne... <hangs up; Tasuke ruminates> 
        Tasuke: A dance? It's Mardi Gras today, isn't it? Maybe I will 
go. <grins; mockingly> Oh, whatever will I wear? 
 
<scene change; Ursula at home, digging through her closet> 
 
        Ursula: He didn't answer- but Tasukechan is so romantically- 
minded, I'm sure he'll be there... Maybe in a tuxedo... that would be 
so cool... But what am I gonna wear? <sulks> Usagi was lucky- she got 
a disguise pen from *her* animal guardian... STELLA! 
        Stella: What is it? 
        Ursula: Do you have any artifacts that you haven't given me yet?  
        Stella: Only about four season's worth. Do you want them all 
now? 
        Ursula: Sure- that'd be cool... 
        Stella: Too bad. I don't have them on me. 
        Ursula: Where do you get them from? 
        Stella: I don't know! They just- appear, usually in my mouth. 
Man, that Star Staff of yours was hell... What'd you do with it, 
anyway? 
        Ursula: It makes a really great coathook... 
        Stella: WHAT?! The most powerful artifact we've recieved, and 
you use it as a coathook?! 
        Ursula: Um... Well... kindof... 
        Stella: What if you forgot it one time, when we were fighting 
the Underground? How would you defeat the mima? 
        Ursula: My brilliant wit and brilliant tiara. 
        Stella: Brilliant. And what if it had imbued its victims with 
evil energy? What then? 
        Ursula: Well, there's always the TK factor... 
        Stella: The what?  
        Ursula: The Twilight Kao factor- he jumps in, saves me, and 
jumps out, yelling that I can do it. 
        Stella: Much good that'll do you... <beat> 
        Ursula: But I was just wondering- do you have some sort of  
disguise thingy I could use?  
        Stella: I thought you made your own costume. 
        Ursula: I did, but my brother spit up on it. 
        Stella: Ew.. Okay, I'll check... <another Stella appears beside  
Stella> 
        Stella: Oops! <the first Stella disappears> I hate it when that  
happens... 
        Ursula: What? 
        Stella: When I'm coming out of the dimensional pocket and I meet  
myself on the way. 
        Ursula: O-kay, I won't question that... <notices that Stella is  
carrying something in her mouth> Is that it? 
        Stella: Yes, this is your disguise bracelet. It can also act 
like a communicator, if necessary. Just- use it sparingly, okay? 
        Ursula: Okay! What do I say? 
        Stella: What is it with you geeks and transformation phrases? It  
doesn't make any difference! 
        Ursula: Okay... Star Power! Put me into a dress just like 
Usagi's when Demando captured her in the manga! <+++CUT SCENE+++  
Ursula gets a dress just like Usagi's when Demando captured her in the 
manga. Woo hoo.> Oh cool! But- that cut scene was sad.  
        Stella: Did you pay a few thousand to animators just to do it? 
        Ursula: Well, no...  
        Stella: Then don't expect anything brilliant. <pause> By the 
way, what does this dance you're going to have to do with Sailor 
Business? 
        Ursula: Absolutely nothing- but all work and no play makes Ursie 
a dull sailor! 
        Stella: But you *never* work! 
        Ursula: So? Iku wa yo, Stella-chan! I've got a dance to go to!  
<grabs a white mask which is hanging on her wall and cuts out for the  
bus stop> 
 
        Announcer: Sailor Ursa will return after these messages! 
 
        Sailor Pegasus: Even though I haven't shown up, I'm Sailor  
Pegasus, and I'm here to say that Jewel's new CD, with its top-40 
single 'Who Will Slave Your Soul', is absolutely the best. After all, 
there's nothing better than moody acoustic mixes to get you in the 
right mood for a shoujo anime! So go out and buy it today- Sailor 
Pegasus says! 
 
        Announcer: We now return to Sailor Ursa! 
 
<scene change; Nylon stands in the boy's varsity locker room> 
 
        Nylon: Dancing fools while hours away 
        Energy then they must pay 
        Sailor Geeks will soon appear 
        Kick their <ahem!> the time is near! 
        Mima Mask, come forth! 
<circle of dust springs up and clears to reveal a woman in a very 
scanty ballroom gown, wearing a beautifully crafted mask> Mima Mask- 
drain the energy of the people at the dance- and destroy the Sailor 
Commandos! Go! 
        Mima Mask: Yes, master! 
 
<scene change; Garfield High School's gym, decorated with masks and  
hearts. Tasuke walks in in a TK costume> 
 
        Tasuke: This is what Americans do in their spare time? My 
history teacher didn't do them justice... But it can't possibly be as 
boring as it looks... Maybe I'll get lucky and a mima will show up. 
<Heather enters, looking bored in a red dress and mask> 
        Heather: This had better not be as lame as it probably will 
be... Look at this. Don't these people know what a real heart looks 
like? And these masks- someone's seen the Phantom of the Opera one too 
many times... <Crystal enters, looking tired but hopeful, in a blue 
dress and mask> 
        Crystal: I don't understand why Nyles didn't call me or 
anything, but- I'm sure I'll see him here... All I have to do is find 
him... After all, there's nothing that he could be hiding from me, is 
there? <Susie enters, looking dubious in a green dress and mask> 
        Susie: See you at the dance, she says.. Yeah, right. What do I  
even care any more? She doesn't talk to me, she doesn't even wave when  
we pass in the halls... What's she hiding from me? <Ursula enters,  
looking thrilled out of her mind in her costume> 
        Ursula: Oh, my god, this is so classic! Everyone's got a mask 
and everything! Cool! <the crowd of highschoolers mills around for a 
while, until the speakers turn on and the bandleader steps up to the 
mike. It's Mima Mask> 
        Mima Mask: Hey, kids! It's time to rock! Now, remember, this is  
our Masquerade, so you can't take off your mask until the end of the  
night. Have fun! <band begins to play- just like the band at the 
Fenix, they begin to drain energy from the crowd.> 
        One student: Man, this dance really sucks. This band stinks 
worse than Alder Street in the morning. <Alder street is the street at 
one end of Garfield where the kids go to smoke> 
        Other kid: Yeah- and here I thought that nothing could make 
school dances worse than they already were... 
        Crystal <holding her head>: Not- not again- I won't let this  
happen again! <sneaks under the bleachers> Unicorn Power, Make Over!  
<extraneous transformation sequence> I'm not letting the underground 
get away with this again! <runs out, searches for Ursula and Heather, 
but in vain> Ursula- Heather! Where are you? <no luck> Sailor 
Commandos, to me! <Nylon appears in the center of the gym and searches 
for the source of the yell> 
        Nylon: Who was that- where're the Sailors? <searches some more-  
sees SM standing on top of the bleachers> Sailor Monoceros- how can it  
be? She looks like- <Ursula and Heather hear SM and creep under the  
bleachers. Tasuke and Susie see them and follows> 
        Ursula: Let's go, Heather! Before Nylon does something else to  
Crystal! 
        Heather: Yeah! 
        Tasuke: Who are they? Are they- the Sailor Commandos? 
        Susie: Ursula- is this your secret? 
        Heather: Dragon Power, Make Over!  
        Ursula: Sutaa Purizumu Pawaa, Meiku Obaa! <two extraneous  
transformation sequences> Sailor Monoceros! We're ready! 
        SM: Let's go! <the sailors head for the 'stage', where Mima Mask  
is jumping up and down with glee> 
        SU: Hey you- mima! 
        MM: What? Oh, it's you... Time to die, Sailor Gits! 
        SD: I don't think so, and I would know, because- 
        SM: Do we have to say this every episode? 
        SM: - I'm Sailor Monoceros, and in the name of the unicorn  
constellation, I will find you! 
        SD: - I'm Sailor Draconis, and in the name of the dragon  
constellation I will sentence you! 
        MM: You and what army? 
        SU: Me! Because- for love and humor, I am the pretty sailor-
suited guardian Sailor Ursa! Fer sure! In the name of the stars, I 
will punish you! 
        MM: Oooh- I love a good spanking... But still, I can't allow you  
to defeat me, so- <pulls off her mask; the face beneath is hideous> 
Feel the wrath of- 
        SU: The worst complexion in all history! Eww! 
        MM: WHAT?! You're insulting my face? Dark legions, arise- bash  
these b----es! <the crowd of people arises, their eyes dull and 
vacant> 
        SU: Not again... Alright, Nylon, this one's for you! <reaches 
for Star Staff, which doesn't appear> Oh no- Stella! 
        SM: Wait- who's Nylon? 
        SU: He's the Underground's second general- the one we've been  
fighting these last three eps. 
        SM: You mean- <the crowd begins to surround them> 
        SD: Sailor Ursa, can it! 
        SU: No! Crystal deserves to know the truth! Nylon- get your evil  
ugly generally nasty funky butt out here! <Nylon appears floating  
overhead> 
        Nylon: It's too late, Sailor Geeks- now you die! 
        SU: I don't think so! Star Twilight Flash! <cut scene; Nylon 
falls back, blinded. As he does, his mask falls off, revealing his 
face> 
        SM: Oh no- Nyles! <holds her head in her hands> No, no, no, no,  
no, it can't be happening like this again... <the crowd begins to grab  
at the Sailors> 
        SU: Oh no- help! STELLA!  
        MM: It's too late- DIE! <suddenly, a hothouse peony pierces the  
crowd. Twilight Kao leaps into view.> 
        TK: Sailor Ursa- don't let the Underground bring you down! I 
would hate to see such a pretty face go to waste. 
        SU <sarcastically>: Oh, *thanks*... Star Twilight FLASH! <Mima  
Mask disintegrates> 
        SD: Why aren't they healed yet? I don't understand. 
        SU: I need the Star Sta- <Stella runs in, carrying the staff in  
her mouth> Stella! You came!  
        Stella: I told you so! Now- quickly, before the crowd recovers! 
        SU: Right! Star Staff Extraction! <cut scene; the students  
collapse, then begin to get up, one by one> Phew- thanks, Stella! 
        Stella: I think there's someone else you should thank- Twilight  
Kao. 
        SU: But- he's not here anymore... 
        SD: Where's Monoceros? <looks around- the dance has, amazingly,  
resumed its normality and Twilight Kao, Susie, Sailor Monoceros, and  
Nylon are all missing> Go fig.. 
 
<scene change; TK stands on the roof of Garfield, watching the moon  
rise> 
 
        TK: Who was that girl? She seems familiar, but I just- can't 
place her face... Aimaiko- forgive me, but you're so far away... 
<flash to Susie sitting on the front steps of Garfield> 
        Susie: Ursula- why didn't you tell me? I might have believed  
you... <flash to Sailor Monoceros, sitting on the roof of the Gym>  
        SM: I can't believe it- Nyles is from the Underground... How can  
this be? <flash to Nylon sitting on a swing in the playground> 
        Nylon: So now she knows- what can I do? I can't betray her- but  
what of my allegiance to the Underground? <all four in unison> Nothing  
makes sense... <fade to black> 
 
<scene change; TK, Urs in her Usagi dress, Princess Crystal, Heather,  
Nylon, and Susie are standing around in a ballroom. All masks get 
taken off> 
 
        TK: You- I know who you are. <Embraces Urs> My princess... 
        Ursagi: My prince... 
        Nylon: I know who you are- my salvation. 
        Princess Crystal: I've always known who you are- My joy. 
<Embraces Nylon> 
        Susie: I know who all of you are... But I'm not sure whether I  
want to or not. 
        Heather: Excuse me, but- Whose dream is this? <long silence- all stare at
eachother>
 
        Announcer: Sailor Ursa won't return after these messages, but 
just hypothetically let's say she will. 
 
        Spandex: Hi!  
 
        Announcer: And now, back to what would have been Sailor Ursa if 
it hadn't just ended! 
 
        Sailor Ursa: Today on Sailor Ursa, we had a really cool school  
dance. Now, most schools don't do this sort of thing, which is why you  
should hire 'Ursa Dance Incorporated' for your school dance! We  
guarantee no lame music, lots of romance, and a mima for any occasion!  
One of us may even be in attendance to get rid of the offending 
monster after the night is over! 
        Sailor Draconis: I don't get it- what if one of us isn't in  
attendance? 
        SU: Well, then they better hire 'Ursa Exterminators 
Incorporated' to get rid of it, because those things breed like you 
wouldn't believe! 
        SM: Somehow, considering what they wear, I think I can believe  
that... 
        SU: Sailor Ursa says! 
 
********************************************************************** 
**                       SAILOR URSA ED SONG                         * 
**       (Sung to a lounge-lizard version of Moonlight Densetsu)     * 
**                                                                   * 
** Fighting evils by starlight She will never doubletime you in Bends* 
** And winning love-           She's always there to be friends      * 
** but not trite               She's the one who doesn't use Depends,* 
** Always darting              She's the one named Sailor Ursa       * 
** past the real fights,       She's the one named Sailor Ursa       * 
** She is the one named        She is the one- Sailor Ursa!          * 
** Sailor Ursa!                                                      * 
********************************************************************** 
********************************************************************** 
 
        Sailor Ursa: Next week on Sailor Ursa- the mysterious Sailor 
Pegasus! Who is Twilight Kao raving about? How will Crystal deal with 
Nylon? How will Susie deal with Ursula? How will Spandex keep his 
pants on? Stay tuned and I'll show you! 
<whispered> Hikari wa motsu- okashii messaju!