From: Nightman Subject: [fanfic] Sailor Moon's Summer Barbecue (repost?) Date: Thu, 16 Jan 1997 09:24:28 -0500 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. --------------4971194F1CFF Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Hi all, first off, I *tried* posting this last night, but it hasn't shown up on either of two news servers I use so I'm reposting it on geneeral principles; sorry to waste the bandwith. I;d like to thank JetWolf and Ophelia for pre-reading and commenting on it for me. All characters in this story are fictional, and the copyright of N. Takeuchi. Similarity to any persons living, dead, on A.F.S-M or R.A.A.(whatever) is purely coincidental. Really. -- =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= + Coming *very* soon on the FSC: Academy of Evil! + = Part one co-written by Nightman & Ophelia! = + The New FSC Website should be going online THIS WEEK! + = Check it out for all 21 parts of the Xmas Special! = + Lots of other surprises, too! Get out your Kanji Dictionaries! + =================================================================== + http://members.aol.com/Lunakun/home for Nightman's Nexus + = http://members.aol.com/Lunakun/darkness/miyu1.htm for = + Erebus, the Vampire Princess Miyu shrine + = "Our Satori is just floating in the core~ = + Where we can spiritually go through the door..." + =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= --------------4971194F1CFF Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline; filename="barbecue.txt" Sailor Moon:Summer Barbecue The Sailor Moon S Cast's 'Wrap' party.. Or, Look Who Came to Dinner Note: This is an odd but humorous fanfic. Just to clarify up front--this is one of those blurred reality stories, kind of like the old show Moonlighting where the actors would sometimes talk to the audience...in this story, primarily, the Sailor Moon gang are themselves...but at the same time they're the actors for the Sailor Moon show. (Don't worry if that doesn't make sense, I think it'll become more clear once you start reading.) Anyway, since they're not currently in an episode, they can relax and be themselves more, so a few personalities are just a touch different than you usually see them (but probably not any more than a lot of fanfics would have them be anyway!). Oh, finally, this happens at the end of the DUBBED version of Sailor Moon S, so the names are Americanized...in same cases, badly so (on purpose.) However, I'm sure you'll figure out who's who pretty much instantly. ++++++++++++ Serena looked out the window. It was nearly ten O'clock and he wasn't here yet. Which, while it was annoying to her, was a Good Thing, because her parents and Sammy were still here. Lita was walking up to the front of the house, along with Rei at the moment. Serena bounded down stairs. She nearly speedbumped her brother on the top landing. She came so close to nailing Luna on the bottom of the stairs that she might well have; the cat completely spazzed out at the near miss! Grumbling, Luna went off to take a nap in Serena's bedroom while she bounded down the rest of the stairs. She flung open the front door. "Hi guys! C'mon in!" Rei was all smiles as she and Lita each carried in a stuffed grocery bag. "Is Mina here yet?" Lita asked. "Oh yeah! She's out back, hanging up the streamers. I was just up in my room looking out for." and here her voice dropped ".*him* to arrive. My parents aren't gone yet." "Uh, oh, Serena," Rei said. "There could be real trouble if your dad finds out you're still dating Darien, even after being told not to!" "I love Dad, but he's not gonna keep me from seeing my muffin!" Serena exclaimed overly loudly. Lita and Rei got sweat drops, big grins, and tried to 'shush' her to no avail. The two girls went on into the kitchen to put away the food. Serena looked after them happily. 'I wonder who all will be able to make it today?' she thought to herself. Just then, there was a sound of a car door being slammed. Serena's parents came into the front hallway, holding their luggage. Sammy was there too, holding a knapsack. "Serena! It looks like you and your friends are setting out quite a party!" Mrs. Sukino enthused. "Why, your, uh, tall friend borrowed the neighbors' picnic table and carried it into the backyard all by herself!" Mr. Sukino added. "I guess you needed an extra table for the food?" Just then, there was a pounding at the front door. A muffled male voice came through it, "Se- reena!" Serena blushed a deep red and got a sweatdrop. Waving her arms frantically she said, "WellIt'sbeengreat but you'vegottagetgoing whydon't yougoouttheback??" Tires squealed in the background. Her dad cocked his head at her. "What do you mean? And *who's* at the door." Serena laughed and put her hand behind her head. A sweatdrop cruised in for a landing. "Uh, I have NO idea," she said. Her dad glared at her so she slowly reached out.just then, the door flung itself open, or rather, Alex Haruka flung it open. Standing in the doorway were Marina Michiru on the right, Haruka on the left, and Darien "Chiba" Mamorou in the middle, holding *another* big grocery bag. Marina was wearing baggy clothes with her hair up in a pink bow, and Alex was wearing a snappy suit. "Quit playing around, Serena, I've gotta get these steaks in the 'fridge or on the grill! It's almost 80 degrees out here already!" Darien exclaimed. "They're almost defrosted, I don't want them ruined!" "College students?!?!" Mr. Sukino exclaimed. "High School, actually, Dad." Serena replied. "Oh, but that's right, Darien and Sharon are in college; well, she probably won't come, so really it's just one and." ".and the WORST one is HIM!" Mr. Sukino pointed a finger at Darien. Darien did not look pleased. He glared right back at Mr. Sukino with his 'Evil Prince Darien' look. "Oooh, Serena, he's such a dreamboat! You're such a lucky girl!" cooed Mrs. Sukino. He reminds me of a Japanese James Dean. She paused, "But you're using 'protection,' right?" "Of course-uh, MOM! I'm NOT do--" "That's it!!" yelled Mr. Sukino, getting completely red in the face. "You are OUTTA HERE!" he bellowed. "Dad!" Serena wailed, starting to cry. Darien looked at her, rolled his eyes, stepped forward and handed his groceries to Sammy, saying "Take this stuff out back for me, willya?" Sammy looked up at him. "Can't I watch?" "No. You shouldn't see this." Sammy looked crestfallen, but complied. "Mr. Sukino, let's you and me step into the living room and have a man to man talk." "I'm not---uh??" Mr. Sukino said in surprise as Darien grabbed him by the arm and forcibly dragged him into the next room. Darien let go of his arm and leaned forward, propping himself off the wall using his left arm, Mr. Sukino right in front of him, facing him. He easily shoved Mr. Sukino back against the wall with just his right arm and grinned wolfishly. "Look old man, don't push it. I work out, and I could beat you into a pulp without breaking a sweat," Darien said in a low, slightly harsher voice than normal. Mr. Sukino wisely looked concerned. "I'm not sleeping with--er at least not *doing* anything with your daughter other than some cuddling. I'm over 21, she's under 18, and I'm *not* a pervert! But don't try to separate us, because I won't allow it. Now, you can be an ass and get yourself clobbered, which will spoil your wife & son's day at the beach, or you can go along and play all nice-nice. Your choice." Mr. Sukino threw his best gut-punch. His hand hurt from hitting Darien's rock-hard abdomen. Mr. Sukino blushed red and got multiple sweat drops. "Want to try that again, *old man*?" "Uh.no!" Darien nodded and smiled grimly. "Good. And just to prove I'm not a bastard, I'm not even going to punch you back. But get out of here NOW," he said in a firm, level voice. Mr. Sukino nodded, smiled weakly, and slid away from Darien. "Hey Serena!" Darien yelled in his normal voice. "Pops and I have worked out an agreement. I'm heading out back to start the steaks before Alex takes it into her head that she can barbecue just because it's 'a guy thing.'" Serena was kissing her Mom goodbye at the door; Sammy had returned from the back yard. Mr. Sukino picked up the luggage without saying anything. "Now, if that.that...Darien.tries anything, call the police on him, you hear me?" he finally said. Serena rolled her eyes. 'Do something? I wish.' she thought. "I'll be fine Dad. I'm sorry you two don't get along better. He's really nice, but he's been stressed lately. He takes *good* care of me, honestly!" "It's too bad he's not more like that Alex Haruka. He's always soo polite!" her father commented. Serena looked at him strangely. Sammy piped up. "Dad! Didn't you hear Darien? Alex is a girl! She's a lesbian! Didn't you figure that out from the edited parts they showed in the Sailor Says segments?" Mr. Sukino's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Come along, dear." Mrs. Sukino said, pulling on her husband's hand. She waved from the door. "Have a good time! Bye!" As they walked out of the house, Mr. Sukino said to Mrs. Sukino, "How can you be so calm about this? They could do anything while we're gone!" "Relax, dear. Only Serena and Marina have boy.er, significant others here. The other girls would *never* let them do anything since they have no dates." She twittered, and then laughed fully as they packed the car. Just then, the computer science club (the entire club in one old station wagon) dropped Ami off. She got out of the car, waved, and blew them all a kiss. She was wearing sandals, a blue miniskirt and baby-blue tanktop, over which she had a loose white dress shirt that she'd hand- tied in front. It was a very Baywatch look for her. "Bye guys! Bye Hitoshi, Conrad, Karl, Chris! Thanks for the lift!" "Anytime, Ami-chan!" they chorused not in unison. Ami waved again and they drove off. She moved her perky self toward the house. "Hi Mr. & Mrs. Sukino! Hi Sammy!" Sammy got stars in his eyes. "Ami-chan! Did you find out the new code for me?" Ami twittered in her psuedo-British accent. "Sure! When the text begins to scroll up at the screen describing the game's background, hit the 4 arrow buttons in this order: up, right, down, back and then A BBB AA *really fast* and you'll get the 2 hidden control menus." "Thanks Ami! You're the greatest!" "I know, but it's nice of you to say so anyway!" She meandered into the house. The Sukinos shook their heads and loaded up the car. ++++++ "I could use my crescent beam to cut the string?" suggested Mina. "With your aim lately, you'd probably hit the steaks and turn them into puree," commented Rei with light sarcasm in her voice. Darien scratched his head in puzzlement. "I guess I'll have to use a kitchen knife to cut the string, but it feels like the steaks may actually be more than lightly frozen; separating them could be hard, and it's likely they won't cook right if they're not defrosted first." "Hey gang!" called Serena. "Look who made it after all!" The gang turned around to see Serena ushering in Sharon Mayou, Professor Mark Tomoe, and his daughter Christine. Christine turned to Serena. "Hey, where's Reenie?" "Oh, she's locked in the walk-in closet upstairs. If you'll keep an eye on her, you can let her out if you want." Lita and Mina approached Professor Tomoe. "I have to say, I was really impressed with you," Mina said. "You're definitely a cut above the average villain. I particularly liked the aplomb with which you carried out your secret identity shtick." Lita nodded. "I was disappointed that we really didn't have any scenes together.except that one very silly one, but I enjoyed watching all your rushes. And you have the *best* laugh," she added, smiling. Professor Tomoe beamed at them. "Really? You liked it? I really appreciate that. And I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to get to know you better on the set; what little time I did have free was mostly taken up with Sharon." "You're a lovely couple!" Rei added as she walked up, having just finished lighting the grill and getting the coals ready in her own special way. "And you needed a woman's touch in your house to help raise Christine." Darien and Sharon were exchanging a brotherly/sisterly hug and kiss. "Congratulations on the engagement, Sharon. I know you'll be happy." She smiled and nodded. "Thanks, that means a lot!" Christine had sidled up to the partly-frosted, unopened package of steaks, looked around for a moment, then turned into Sailor Saturn (without a transformation sequence, of course). Whipping out the Silence Glaive, she split open the package of meat, then put it away and returned to her normal identity. Then she went off to find Reenie. Sharon, Lita, and Alex finished putting up the streamers and some of the honeycomb-tissue balls that family reunions and company picnics often seem to have. Darien came back from the kitchen wearing a man's chef apron that said, "Kiss the Cook" on it, holding a flipper, tongs, and steak knives. He got over to the package and found it split open. The steaks inside were not only defrosted, they were obviously rotted, as if exposed to a ball of entropy, or someone had accelerated time around them. "NO! Not the steaks! They're ruined!" Serena came over to him. "Oh, what a shame, I was looking forward to your cooking." Darien got a cross vein pulsing on his temple. "Serena, this is Japan! Steak costs about US$30 per pound! I blew well over $150 on this meat!" Everyone facefaulted and got sweat drops. "Well, we've got a lot of other food, and Marina and I brought some seafood for grilling," said Alex. "I just love squid-ka-bobs." In the background, Marina made discreet puking gestures. "Wait, maybe the steaks can be.healed!" proclaimed Ami, sitting at the picnic table, buffing her blue nails. Serena and Darien exchanged a glance. "Do you think so?" he said. "It's worth a try!" she replied. Serena ran upstairs to the dresser she kept her old props in. Next to the first 2 brooches she'd used was the old Crescent Moon Wand. (The Moon Princess Scepter was mounted on the wall overhead, with a startled Artemis hanging onto it for dear life.) As she got to the hallway, she heard muffled noises from the closet. 'Oh dear,' she thought. 'I forgot to warn Christine about the autolocking door.' She released Reenie and Christine from the walk-in closet. Christine was gracious, but Reenie wouldn't even look at her. +++++++ "Moon, Healing," (she drew in breath for a good yell) "ACT.! What, Darien?" "Don't you think you should change first?" he commented. Serena looked down. "You don't like my outfit?" she asked innocently. "Not that! You should change into Sailor Moon first!" Serena rolled her eyes. "I know what you meant. Why bother, I shouldn't even have this wand anymore!" Darien shrugged wordlessly. Serena rolled her eyes again and sighed. "All right, all right. But I'm doing the Super outfit!" Serena spun around, waved her arms, and said, "Moon Romance power, Make UP!" Everyone got sweat drops. From sitting next to Marina, holding her hand, Alex said, "She said 'make up' again. Why can't she just drop it?" Marina tossed her hair to the left. "Once you start using makeup, it's hard to quit." Super Sailor Moon stood there, raised the crescent moon wand and cried out "Moon, Healing, ACTIVATION!" and let loose with a blast that restored the steaks to a fully edible condition. "Ya-Taa!" cried Lita. "Uh, I mean, All right!!" She turned red and got a sweat drop. Mina wordlessly handed her a big bag of chips, which she started stuffing herself with. Darien got to work on the grill. Later that afternoon, when they were all stuffed on steak, chicken, squid, chips, pop, pop- tarts, apple pie, vanilla ice cream, taco salad, macaroni salad, curry, couscous, and Mrs. Sukino's Chocolate Double-Bomb Chip Delights (tm) they all laid down in the warm sunny grass and took a nap, Serena in Darien's arms, Marina in Alex's, Mina in the sunshine; she brought tanning oil, Amy in the shade with her new Armitage sunglasses, and Rei and Lita splitting the extra large hammock, because, after all, that's what friends are for. The End. --------------4971194F1CFF--