THE MOONIE NEWS NETWORK CHRISTMAS EDITION:

TOY SMUGGLER APREHENDED:

Just before midnight U.S. border patrol officers aprehended a toy 
smuggler trying to bring Canadian Sailor Moon Dolls and other assorted
Sailor Moon Toys made by IRWIN into the United States, violating 
Bandai's rights to the U.S. market!  The smuggler is described as
a middle aged man, heavy build, with a long white beard, believed to
be a Canadian citizen.  His sleigh and nine reindeer (one with a red
nose) have been impounded awaiting a hearing.  When we come back, an 
interview with the joint Canadian/American toy-interdiction task force.
 
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WE NOW RETURN TO THE MOONIE NEWS NETWORK CHRISTMAS EDITION:

Today we are joined by Joe Dick of the U.S. border patrol and Dudley
Do Right of The Canadian Toy Board (formerly of the RCMP)!

INTERVIEWER: Mr. Dick how did you know this smuggler was headed for the
             U.S.?

JOE DICK: Just call me Joe!  We have been working closely with the 
          Canadian Toy Board to monitor toy smugglers, this particular 
          character, Mr. Clause, has had a history of flagrantly
          voilating various toy companies turf!

DUDLEY: Yes he has, he didn't even bother to apply for the proper toy
        export permit!  He is an anarchist, and must be stopped!  We
        must limit toy exports or we could be brought befor GATT for
        toy dumping!  The only way to ensure order is to maintain the
        Canadian Toy Board's monopoly over toy exports!

INTERVIEWER:  O.K. Joe!  Isn't the reason you don't want your last name
              used because you are related to the person who cancelled
              Sailor Moon in the U.S.?

JOE:  Um?  That's pure coincidence!

INTERVIEWER:  And Dudley, weren't you recently involved in a bribery
              scandel at the Canadian Toy Board where several officials
              recieved very large Barbie Dolls, for there own use?

DUDLEY:  Um? I gotta go!

JOE:  Me too! Bye! 

Well it appears that there is some corruption in both govenments! It's
probably a Negaverse plot!  Fortunately a Group called CANADIAN ELVES
FOR JUSTICE has posted bail for Mr. Clause allowing him to make his
Christmas Rounds!  Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Glen A. Pearce

glenap@autobahn.mb.ca

P.S. Although there is no Canadian Toy Board it is a spoof of an 
     equally loopy Department that does actually exist!  How many of
     you know what commodity is controlled like that?  If you want to 
     know just ask, and I shall tell all! :-)